One may think that feminism does not need to be addressed to younger children, however, as our children are growing up in a society where gender roles are being increasingly confused, it is incumbent upon us as Muslim parents to address this confusion from an early stage. The school system does not wait until our children are a mature age to expose them to such topics. It is quite the opposite. They try to instill feministic values from as early of an age as possible. This is an unfortunate reality of western life, therefore it is crucial to make sure our children understand the Islamic viewpoint on gender roles and the rights of women. Young children learn the most through watching their parents, so we must make sure we clearly understand how Allah (SWT) defines our roles and duties as believers. This will ground our relationships with our spouses on the Quran and Sunnah and allow us to be the role models our children so desperately need in this secular society.
Gender:
Firstly, we must educate our children that Allah (SWT) has created two genders: the male and the female.
وَلَيْسَ ٱلذَّكَرُ كَٱلْأُنثَىٰ
“And the male is not like the female”
[TMQ: Ali’Imran:36]Men & Women Are Inherently Different:
Allah (SWT) has made men and women equal in some ways, but not in others. For example, men and women are both human beings, are both servants of Allah (SWT), and both are obligated to worship Him (SWT).
وَٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَٱلْمُؤْمِنَـٰتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَآءُ بَعْضٍۢ ۚ يَأْمُرُونَ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ وَيُقِيمُونَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَيُؤْتُونَ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَيُطِيعُونَ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥٓ ۚ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ سَيَرْحَمُهُمُ ٱللَّهُ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌۭ
“The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those – Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” [TMQ: At-Tawba:71]
Men & Women Have Different Responsibilities:
Although men and women share these similarities, they differ in terms of the responsibilities they are tasked with by Allah (SWT). If we teach our children that as the one who created them, Allah (SWT) knows us best. He has also taught us how to live a happy, healthy, and productive life. This is why Allah (SWT) has given men and women different responsibilities that adhere to our fitrah (natural disposition). We must teach our kids that these roles set down for us by the Creator are there to help us, not to restrict us. When we understand that He knows us better than we know ourselves, it becomes very easy to accept and adhere to these roles. For women, Allah (SWT) made her primary role in life taking care of her home, her husband, and her children. For men, Allah (SWT) made them the protectors and maintainers of their families.
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ
Allah (SWT) says, “Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with” [TMQ: Surah An-Nisa:34].
Allah (SWT) has defined these primary roles in this way, not because men are better than women or because men are more important than women. Rather, it is to ensure that the family unit is effectively organized so that the needs of all family members are justly fulfilled. The feminist agenda distorts this understanding, teaching our children that this is not the correct way to organize the family unit. They create a narrative that destroys these basic, primary roles of men and women that create a happy and peaceful life in accordance with our nature (fitrah).
Conclusion
Fathers: You must take your role as the provider of the family seriously and remember the Prophet’s (saw) advice to treat your wife well. Show her respect. Honor her as your wife and the mother of your children. She is the heart of your home, the caretaker and teacher to your children, who will raise them to be righteous Muslims. Furthermore, you must instill these characteristics into your own children. Teach them about their responsibilities as men in Islam.
Mothers: It is especially important for you to show respect to your husband. Listen and obey him, as Allah (SWT) has commanded and entrusted her to take care of his home and children. The husband is the one who has been commanded to be your guardian and provider after Allah (SWT). Carry these values onto your daughters and teach them their rights given to them by Islam, as well the rights upon them commanded by Islam.
Parents: As your children grow up in America, your children will continuously be bombarded with this feminist propaganda. Your children need to be equipped with the knowledge of what their Creator has commanded of them. As their parents, it is critical you equip them with this knowledge to fight off this propaganda. Teach your sons and daughters what Allah (SWT) expects of them. Your daughters must know how crucial they are as Muslim women and how important their roles will be as wives and mothers. Your sons must know how to behave honorably and respectfully as the head of their household one day. Teach them to look only to Allah (SWT) and His Prophet (SAW) to guide their lives and relationships. If we fail to do this, they will look to western media and school systems, that tirelessly propagate feminism and other destructive ideas to the family unit. Also, more importantly, not teaching our children how to live a proper Islamic lifestyle earns the displeasure of the Creator, Allah (SWT). So, let us take steps to counter this in our households. Sit down with your kids at least once a week and teach them these basic Islamic concepts. Read to them the stories of the male and female companions around the prophet (SAW). Make these righteous people their role models and show them how Islam dignifies men and women. Islam does not discriminate, or put down women, rather it exalts them. Check what kind of books they are reading at school. Be actively involved in their life at school. Ask them what they learned about in class. Let’s make a sincere effort to teach our kids the deen, because if we don’t, the school systems and media outlets of the west will teach them their deen. May Allah (SWT) protect us and protect our families from the secular feminist agendas of the west.
March 22, 2023
Sha’aban 30, 1444
